rock gods

Time wounds all heals.

Another year passed. I swear, I can't decide if I'm blessed or lucky. Or both.

Birthdays never quite go as planned, but I think it went well enough. I bought cupcakes in South Boston and walked around there for a bit. If Dorchester is like East Baltimore, Southie is kinda like the Hampden area. So I felt at home there too, in a way; most of non-Back Bay/Fenway parts of Boston remind me of Baltimore. Real Boston, which is quite different from the BU bubble, is growing on me.

Because my roommate's car got broken into, I didn't get to meet "Emmett" from Twilight (we were too late when we got there), but I got his autographed picture. He's just as hot in person, though.

I can't stop planning for the future. I went to a Catholic Center retreat this past weekend and one girl, who I've deemed some kind of guru, said I need to give myself permission to relax. I've never been good at that, because unfortunately, "I make lists in my sleep," or something. I just want to plan for what's coming next, though you never really can. Go abroad, stay in Boston, move home... I try to play out every possible scenario.

It's been such a strange year.
the road ahead

(no subject)

I only regret things I say and very rarely do I regret the things I do. Talking seems to be the most ineffective medium for expressing my emotions.
Rooney buggy

I'm not mad, just disappointed.

I've been meaning to post, but I can't think of much to say. Aside from seeing my friends and family, I feel like the summer went by in kind of a haze of mediocrity (again). Pottery was ok, GRE prep was ok... just meh. My pottery teacher is the embodiment of tragedy. I called her last week to see if she'd be at the studio and told me she wouldn't, because he brother had been murdered. At the beginning of August she almost died in a car accident. Is that called bad luck? I have no idea.

I've been pretty lazy about studying for the GRE on my own, and I've read the entire Twilight series instead. It happens. Meanwhile, I'm sure I will now do worse on the test because of that. But anyways, I devote my summers to reading nonsense and nonsense I did. I'll take some of my philosopohy books to Boston...

Oh yeah so I went to Toronto last week for a few days. My family is pretty last minute so that was only done after a week of planning. Also, I need a new passport, so I had to bring like 5 forms of ID. It's seems like a nice city, from what I saw. We stayed downtown & didn't really get to see too much outside of that area, but we ate in Chinatown, saw some of Yorkville and the Queens Street neighborhoods... and went to the Royal Ontario Museum, Casa Loma, and University of Toronto. UT would have been nice for undergrad but it's ginormous and that's not what I'm looking for for grad school. There are some other schools in the area I want to look at too, but my GPA is so low and a lot of Canadian schools don't seem to accept the GRE... so we'll see. Also, I had made a point to watch the news there everyday. There had been 31 murders this year up until last week, bear in mind that this city has a couple million people. Baltimore has less than a million people and around 200+ murders this year alone. I was definitely sold on the low incidences of violent crime and also on the diversity & tolerance. I feel like people mind their own business and I like that. Adaptation, not assimilation. They'll make me a Canuck yet.

We drove to and from Toronto and I spent the first half of the drive there being hungover due to the free happy hour I won and attended the night before. All in all I'm going to say it was a good night but I'm hoping old Rachel isn't planning a return. And I suppose though I can cross British guy off my list of people I must make out with. That is all.

P.S.: Almost forgot, working at Barnes and Nobles has been cool. Makes me soooooo happy that I'm not buying textbooks and going back to school. I thought I'd be sad, but I feel sorry for everyone else, especially the panicky parents. Additionally, JHU busy < BU busy. Yay for 16,000 undergrads making most crowds seem small. And I thought I wouldn't be prepared for the real world.
Death Note

It bears repeating.

My life in a nutshell:

Randall and I decided the thrill is gone and we're just going to be friends. I initiated the conversation, but he was feeling the same way. We're trying to stay friends. Regardless of his (and my) flaws and missteps, I still enjoy talking to him.

Otakon was... ok. I felt guilty for spending money on it, the hotel, and food and what have you since I'm not working, but it was certainly a good break from the monotony that is my daily life. I am feeling a bit distant from anime culture, which may have to do w/ the fact that I have been watching good American tv since I've been home (see Dexter, Party Down, rekindled love of Entourage, etc.), so I've had little desire to watch anime, unlike before when I couldn't find much else to watch. I still enjoy reading manga, though. I also get bored watching anime alone. Conventions always make me wonder where these people are the rest of the year.

Speaking of unemployment, I'm going to be working at the Barnes & Nobles at Johns Hopkins helping out w/ back-to-school stuff. I'm some kind of triple threat since I have barista, cashier, and book experience. I'm excited for money.

GRE prep class is reminding me how poor of a vocabulary I have and no concept of reading comprehension. No wonder I never knew what was going on throughout 90% of college. I'm definitely not on the level I should be for someone who wants to pursue graduate school. The class made me miss Andrea and Matt b/c the teacher is like that awkward TA/professor we make fun of. He said he loves insurance b/c it analyzes risk. Who says that?

I'm pretty indifferent towards the Fall right now. I think that the volunteer coordinator at Project Hope thought Homes for Families [the director of Project Hope is on the board for Homes for Families so they're sort of affiliated] was a better fit for me so I'll mostly be doing administrative stuff & childcare there, but I'm pushing to do some tutoring at Project Hope once a week. I like the flexibility and openness of it all, though, and that there's choices.

I miss Boston. I realized that when I was watching the travel channel (which is how I spend about 2 hrs each day) and it showed the Cape. I miss the accents and even the Massholes. I can't decide if that's where I want to be for grad school, life. I'm thinking Virginia, which is southern enough to be friendlier than Baltimore but not necessarily scary, Chicago, or Toronto. One of my high school friends lives in the Chicago area and we've been talking semi-seriously about living together since high school. I think it's feasible, though I generally don't want to live with a guy unless I'm married to him (and there's my conservative side), I've always been able to envision Tony and I getting along. Toronto just goes w/ my 4th grade obsession with Canada. It's diverse, not as far away as I thought, and fairly safe (though according to wiki there are allegedly some gangs). So we'll see. But I know nothing about their schools, or Canadien education, which is probably bad since I want to be a teacher.
  • Current Mood
    future Degrassi teacher
Rooney buggy

If it feels this good getting used, just keep on me using me until you use me up...

I haven't written in a while, mostly because nothing is going on. Well some stuff is going on, but nothing major. I was working at Friends for 3 weeks as usual when I got home. That was okay I guess, but I think this will be my last year there. I'm kind of over the spoiled, know-it-all kids and I was never particularly close with any of the counselors, except two sorta. One I only got to see for one day before she went to the Phillipines, and the other (a former counselor) I just ran into the other day. Anyway, Friends was super blah. In the mean time I've been watching a lot of TV and seeing some friends and family, though I'm feeling my home base of friends is dwindling, not that it was ever that large to begin with. I think I'll see some people later on, but who knows? So mostly I've just been hanging out w/ Alec and Alec-related people.

I'm taking a pottery class which started last Friday and I'm pretty terrible so far. The teacher is everything one would expect of an art teacher- quirky, random, and brutally honest. All of my work has been "a mess." It's fun though, I went on Tuesday just to practice using the wheel. The teacher says we're making the best art right now while we're still inexperienced.

I think I'm also going to take GRE classes this summer and out of shear boredom I've been looking at grad schools. I thought I wanted to go to California but now I think it's a waste. I don't want to have to fly every time I want to come home. I think I'm stuck in a Bay State state of mind, b/c I've been drawn to applying to places in Boston. Simmons has a dual degree program with a liberal arts masters and a masters of the arts in teaching. I really like that program, and I also like a program at the University of Virginia. Aside from Virginia, I'm thinking smaller schools w/ lower tuition and a lesser brand name.

On to the sort of big news. So I've been talking to the guy I hooked up with during senior week ever since then. We're also exclusive. He visted me on Memorial Day and I visited him this past Saturday in Philly. I'm bad at planning for these sorts of things so when he came to Baltimore it wasn't anything earth-shattering. We hung out downtown, had dinner, and watched a movie at my house. In Philly, we hung out his house for a bit, made a necessary trip to Sonic (where I devoured an extra long Coney in front of him in an unladylike fashion), and went downtown. After that we tried unsuccessfully to nap even though I got there at 8 in the morning, we went to this black journalists event which is where I ran into the former counselor that I was cool with, funny enough. The event was really nice and we had a lot of fun. I don't know what's going to happen between us and neither does he, I'm sure, but we're having fun.
the road ahead

I look pretty young but I'm just backdated

It's been a while... I'm trying to remember what's happened. Well my classes are pretty mediocre, except for my religion class, which is called "Death and Immortality." I thought it would be depressing, but it's pretty funny. My professor reminds me of Bianca, minus the suck and rampant ageism. And he's funny. So really he doesn't remind me of Bianca at all except for his mannerisms. I've been kinda disappointed with anthro classes this year, but anthro majors never cease to amaze me. They're just absurd individuals. I guess I just like to mull things over rather than shout out whatever comes to mind.

So speaking of strange, I feel like this has been a weird week (well last week was weird). But good. All things considered I feel like this was a good week and weekend. My whole issue is time. Not enough time to do work, not enough to see people, not enough to work on applications, never enough time to talk to people. Balance is also in issue- I think too much about everything so I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I've been on edge a lot lately too. Shit sucks.

Things that have happened include but are not limited to... young adult Mass in the North End, watching synchronized swimming, desert and wine, knight's quest at the Pub, house party, retreat, fight with my mom, bars, the club, Alternative Spring Break fast approaching, graduation fast appraoching, shenanigans and tomfoolery, meeting straight male anthropology majors, seeing Starbucks customers at places that aren't Starbucks and being awkward, LOTS of good conversation with all sorts of people, NOT seeing movies that I want to see such as The Wrestler and Slumdog, buying records I don't need, buying sneakers I don't need, wearing a light jacket.

Random but a few weeks ago my brother did two podcasts that had all cover songs, so they were amazing, because I love all sorts of covers. Anyways, I heard this gem and figured I'd share it:


the road ahead

A leap of faith.

I think despite being a pessimist, things are going to go well and go my way.
The only thing to do is jump over the moon...
  • Current Music
    Pee Wee Herman!
collette icon

Well this may be the oxycodone talking, but...

Today I had two wisdom teeth removed. It was quick and pretty painless. I got blood on my favorite hoodie, which is awesome/not awesome.
Most of the break I've been extremely lazy and hanging out with mother a lot. I've seen and have been trying to see my friends too. The formerly James BiYearly (read: sporadic) Family Xmas party was a success.
Christmas was good although modest. There wasn't much I wanted/needed but I got big things I really wanted (a new coat, external harddrive) and wasn't expecting (new phone from the father figure) and things in between (money, all-time favorite Jay-Z album, and DVDs such as Darjeeling Limited and a Bleach boxset).

Last week I hung out with Lara W. from the Catholic Center at the Inner Harbor. I complain about the Inner Harbor to anyone who will listen but I always have fun when I'm down there. We went to Five Guys for lunch, then spent a bunch of time at the Visionary Art Museum, which
weirded me out as a kid but I always knew it was the kind of place I would appreciate as I got older. It definitely made me feel a bit inspired but kind of disappointed I threw out my cereal boxes before I left my apartment at BU because I kind of wanted to make something with them. What, you ask? I couldn't tell you.

In an effort to bring new music in my life, since the last album I believe I bought was Vampire Weekend, I bought Fleet Foxes which depresses me to no end but I love it, and the Buzzcocks, which I haven't listened yet to because of the number of viruses that are eating my computer alive at the moment. I've also been using my myspace account again to add the various bad pop-punk bands I know and love. The Maine? 3OH!3? Yes, I am a fourteen-year-old suburban white girl at heart.

Not much else going on- living, praying, sleeping, watching Anthony Bourdain be an ass, and trying not to puke on this computer right now.
  • Current Mood
    nauseated nauseated